Episode 84
Denying the Flesh: Prolactin
The discussion at hand revolves around the profound implications of the hormone prolactin, particularly in the context of parenthood and marital dynamics. Prolactin plays a pivotal role not only in breastfeeding but also in fostering emotional connections between parents and their newborns. Throughout the episode, we delve into the complexities of how this hormone influences both maternal and paternal behaviors, emphasizing that while it facilitates bonding, it can also lead to heightened stress and irritability. We explore the delicate balance of responsibilities within a marriage, especially during the tumultuous early stages of parenting, and how this often results in misunderstandings and conflict. Ultimately, we seek to illuminate the importance of communication and mutual support in nurturing both a child's needs and the marital relationship, encouraging listeners to embrace their roles with intentionality and grace.
Takeaways:
- The podcast emphasizes the significance of prolactin in breastfeeding, highlighting its role in milk production and maternal bonding with infants.
- It discusses the challenges of parenting, particularly regarding communication and understanding between spouses during stressful times.
- The speakers share insights on the dynamics of marriage, emphasizing the importance of accountability and spiritual leadership within the relationship.
- The episode underscores the necessity for husbands to be proactive in supporting their wives, especially during the early stages of parenthood.
- Listeners are encouraged to recognize that hormonal changes do not excuse negative behavior, and both partners must practice self-control and understanding.
- The podcast concludes by reminding listeners of the importance of community and accountability in nurturing healthy relationships.
Transcript
Hello, everyone, and welcome back to Casting Seeds.
Speaker A:I'm Savannah, your holistic health practitioner and host.
Speaker B:I'm Jeremiah, your co host, and you're.
Speaker A:Listening to the only holistic health podcast that uses God's singular truth to give you individualized discernment.
Speaker A:So today we are talking about a few things, and it's interesting, kind of how it all came into perspective.
Speaker A:But I want to say thank you so much for last week for going through with the colicky cries.
Speaker A:We found out that dairy was affecting my breast milk and making Penelope super colicky.
Speaker A:So we were really struggling with that, and we needed to take a week to really focus on her and make sure that everything was okay.
Speaker A:And, yeah, so we did that, and that's why we didn't have an episode out last week.
Speaker A:But parenting is wild.
Speaker A:All the ups and downs.
Speaker A:And actually, within that time frame, I had a friend who is not a Christian, who lives with her boyfriend asked me about basically how to have conversations with, you know, she isn't.
Speaker A:She isn't married, but she told me that she thought it was interesting that even if people have lived together for a long time, she was nervous to get married, because she said, I don't understand how when men or women get married, all of a sudden there's like a huge shift that changes.
Speaker A:And I explained to her that because she wanted her boyfriend to get things done and to do things around the house more blah, blah, blah.
Speaker A:And she was like, I'm scared that now that things are better, that when he gets married, he's not gonna do it anymore.
Speaker A:And I was like, well, sometimes things like that happen because when men and women get married, there's all of a sudden a deeper comfort.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Like, you're gonna be with me no matter what, so you're gonna see the worst and ugly side of me, the laziest parts of me, the best parts of me.
Speaker A:But, like, you're not going to give up on me.
Speaker A:And that's why I think a lot of marriages fail within the first year, is because they don't realize going into it that they're.
Speaker A:That people can be like this.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:And then you don't have God at all.
Speaker A:So there's no point in staying together if all of a sudden you get married and someone's a thousand times worse.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:No accountability.
Speaker A:Exactly.
Speaker A:So why does this tie into this episode, which is a prolactin themed episode, is because this week, after having that conversation with my friend who's not saved and talking about marriage and why it's Important and why it's still necessary and why she shouldn't be afraid of it.
Speaker A:I ran into the hormone prolactin, which, when you are breastfeeding, prolactin is the hormone that helps you create milk.
Speaker A:It's a hormone that starts in late second trimester, early third trimester.
Speaker A:It helps women bond with their babies.
Speaker A:It also helps men bond with the babies once they see the baby and hear the baby cry.
Speaker A:So it's literally a bonding hormone, but it's also known as the aggression hormone.
Speaker A:And the reason why is because women, when you're flooded with a bunch of prolactin, what happens is, is you're so focused on the baby, you're so, I don't know, like you're just trying to survive.
Speaker A:And then you mix in no sleep, hunger, like all these things that could make your attitude worse.
Speaker A:And the moment your husband looks at you and goes, hey, could you do the dishes while you're changing the baby's diaper and the baby's screaming, that's the reason why a woman will then turn and be like, are you joking right now?
Speaker A:That type of attitude.
Speaker A:And just be not loving or not kind.
Speaker A:But also too, was the husband loving or kind?
Speaker A:Asking that question in the middle of her struggling and suffering.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:So the whole point of this post, which I actually made a post on Instagram that will come out the day that this episode comes out, prolactin is not a license to sin for men or for women.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:However, it's understanding that God made beautiful hormones to help your family bond and connect and protect the baby.
Speaker A:That's the whole point of prolactin.
Speaker A:So I'm going, I'll give Bible verses and stuff and kind of talk about.
Speaker A:I wanted this to be a free flowing conversation.
Speaker A:Jeremiah and I have really struggled with this where I just get so deeply hurt by him.
Speaker A:Not like checking in or doing what I think.
Speaker A:And I will use the word constantly.
Speaker A:Like I'll tell him, like, it's common sense, it's common sense.
Speaker A:And then he gets hurt because to him it's not common sense.
Speaker A:So he feels disrespected when I say things like that.
Speaker A:So I have verses, Bible verses and things that will help me not use that license to sin.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And usurp my husband.
Speaker A:And Jeremiah also has those Bible verses.
Speaker B:Some Bible verses, not those ones.
Speaker A:Oh yeah.
Speaker A:For men.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:On the opposite end, which what is the men's struggle love that I was discussing?
Speaker B:So one of the things is like women are like mentally overloaded and so being able to just take charge and do the things that are needed without overloading your wife and then also just not putting the, like, certain types of.
Speaker B:I guess, like.
Speaker B:How do you put it?
Speaker B:I'm just talking in circles now.
Speaker A:No, the sin of omission.
Speaker B:Yeah, the sin of omission.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Lack of leadership.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Because that's the thing.
Speaker A:That's what I mean.
Speaker A:You go back to the fall, right?
Speaker A:Women wanting to usurp men and then weak men not wanting to step into leadership the way that they should.
Speaker A:So when men aren't doing the leadership and labor that they're called to, and women are trying to do the leadership in labor that they're not called to.
Speaker B:They'Re supposed to be just being labor.
Speaker A:I'm kidding.
Speaker A:I mean, just the labor.
Speaker B:That is what we're commanded to do.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:So when those jobs swap in in a biblical way, it.
Speaker A:That's when it becomes unbiblical and sinful, even if it's coming with good intent.
Speaker A:But the good intent is what causes sin and strife.
Speaker A:So I didn't think that this hormone prolactin would ever cause this conversation.
Speaker A:But I just want to say Jeremiah had to learn, like, the mental load that I'm bearing now is so much more than I ever could have imagined.
Speaker A:And, yeah, he had to take it on with me by becoming more aware without me having to ask.
Speaker A:Let me just make that clear.
Speaker A:What does that mean without me having to ask?
Speaker A:I feel like this episode's going to be sent to a lot of husbands.
Speaker B:What.
Speaker B:What does it mean?
Speaker A:That means, like, the example that I gave.
Speaker A:If a baby's screaming in my arms, I'm changing a diaper, I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with her.
Speaker A:You know, there's a diff.
Speaker A:Like, yeah, maybe going.
Speaker A:And just like, checking out and going to do the dishes is helpful for you.
Speaker A:Like, that's nice of you to do, but coming over and being like, hey, the baby's been screaming for five minutes.
Speaker A:Are you okay?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Like, I do that for you all the time.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And then if I'm like, yeah, wait.
Speaker B:Do I do that for you?
Speaker A:Yeah, you do it every once in a while.
Speaker A:Not as often as I would like.
Speaker A:I think you're just kind of like, she's got it.
Speaker B:In my defense.
Speaker B:Defense.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:There.
Speaker B:There are times I feel like when you're breastfeeding and she's crying, it's like, okay, something's wrong.
Speaker B:But at the exact same time, like, me interrupting feels like it's Inappropriate sometimes.
Speaker A:Yeah, but that's when asking.
Speaker A:Like, if you ask once.
Speaker B:True.
Speaker A:Then you know for the other times.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:So you got to try at least one time to check in.
Speaker A:I'm not saying you haven't done this.
Speaker A:I'm saying you, as in men, you gotta try once and build that communication with your wife.
Speaker A:But on the flip side, yeah.
Speaker A:If I'm.
Speaker A:If I, Savannah, am exhausted and I finally put Penelope down, and it's time for me to nap, and a bunch of stuff needs to get done around the house.
Speaker A:And you, Jeremiah, have a bunch of time to be able to help with that stuff around the house.
Speaker A:If I wake up and you're, like, playing video games, that would piss me off immensely.
Speaker A:Like, get a few things done and then do that.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:So it's that type of stuff that for some reason, every single couple struggles with.
Speaker A:I don't know one couple that doesn't struggle with it to some degree.
Speaker A:And you know why?
Speaker A:The fall.
Speaker A:That's what I'm blaming it on.
Speaker A:The fall of man.
Speaker A:But, yeah, I didn't.
Speaker A:I never would have thought in a million years that prolactin would have ever caused this conver conversation.
Speaker A:So just before we get into it, I want to say what prolactin is.
Speaker A:And if you guys hear kind of a wind in the background, just know it's raining really hard and we have windows open because we love the sound of rain and wind and.
Speaker B:And you should, too, now.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Hopefully it doesn't sound awful on camera or.
Speaker A:Mike.
Speaker B:Mike.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Again, think right now.
Speaker A:Um, so prolactin is essential for initiating and maintaining milk production.
Speaker A:Um, the suckling of a baby's saliva is key to the stimulus of it.
Speaker A:So if you are pumping, you do not get the same amount or same level as prolactin of prolactin and bonding as you would purely breastfeeding without a shield.
Speaker A:Yeah, without a nipple.
Speaker A:Well, sometimes nipple shield still, you can exchange more saliva.
Speaker A:You get more saliva than you would pumping.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:So, yeah, no saliva pumping.
Speaker A:Exactly.
Speaker A:So the frequency of breastfeeding also matters more in this, because the more that you breastfeed, the more prolactin and the more milk production, and then the infant gets better weight gain.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:So prolactin's influence is not only in the quantity of milk, but it's also on the milk composition.
Speaker A:So, like the lactose, the lipids, the minerals, it.
Speaker A:It also helps produce and figure out what type of milk that your baby needs.
Speaker A:So that kind of exchange of saliva and it's like the magical hormone where the saliva and the breast milk mix.
Speaker A:And then your body will create new and different types of breast milk with different vitamins the next time your baby feeds, because it will, it kind of, it starts to know how to change for your baby's needs.
Speaker A:So if she's low in vitamin A, my body will sense that through prolactin and my breast milk will change and add more vitamin A the next time she feeds.
Speaker A:Isn't that amazing?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:So prolactin is necessary and it's wonderful and amazing, but also because of it, it puts you in a little bit of fight or flight.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And it causes a maternal stress through your thyroid function.
Speaker A:So this is often tied to just kind of a maternal metabolic health in general, but it does create lower risks of type 2 diabetes and better lipid profiles, better hormone health for you and baby overall.
Speaker A:So if you do struggle with hormone health, with things like pcos, just any type of hypo or hyperthyroidism, this can actually help heal it in the long run, the longer that you breastfeed, which is kind of cool.
Speaker B:So then how do men produce it?
Speaker B:Why do men produce it?
Speaker A:Okay, yeah, so men produce it in a small amount, but only after the baby's born and after they start hearing your baby cry.
Speaker A:So when a baby cries or when they see their baby and they see especially their own face when they within the baby, like, oh, and this is why a lot of babies look a lot like their dads when they're first born.
Speaker B:Angry old men.
Speaker A:Yeah, they literally do all look like angry little old men versions of their dad.
Speaker A:It's so funny.
Speaker A:But basically, when men see that and they see their own biological DNA in front of them, they then start to get prolactin in their bloodstream.
Speaker A:And then they think, I have to protect this baby, this is my baby, that I'm now going to do anything to protect her or him and protect my wife who just gave birth.
Speaker A:Hoorah.
Speaker A:And what's crazy is women already get that feeling as well just from hearing the baby cry.
Speaker A:That's then why women will have like breastfeeding letdowns.
Speaker A:So we get it double overtime from having the saliva activate it throughout the day.
Speaker A:And then also anytime the baby cries or is upset.
Speaker A:Upset or laughs, whatever it is.
Speaker A:So women are getting it double than men would.
Speaker A:Does that make sense?
Speaker B:Yeah, I mean, makes sense why we're more calm still.
Speaker A:Yeah, well, and that's the thing.
Speaker A:It's tied to bonding, caregiving, attachment, greater empathy, especially for Men more so because it's not like raging, you're not getting as much of it.
Speaker A:So men tend to get more empathy.
Speaker A:And that's why when women get too much, then they'll get overstimulated by it.
Speaker A:And then when someone comes in and overstimulates them more, they have no empathy.
Speaker A:Yeah, they get aggression.
Speaker A:That's the where the quote unquote aggression comes in.
Speaker A:So that's why this kind of like learning about this.
Speaker A:I wanted to make it clear to mothers like, yes, and I will say this ladies, when your body releases the higher levels of prolactin, this hormone fuels your milk production, production like we said.
Speaker A:And it heightens protectiveness, which is beautiful.
Speaker A:And it makes you more alert, it makes you more sensitive and yeah, overall more irritable and emotional.
Speaker A:And to your husbands, they should know it's not just attitude.
Speaker A:It's not you being too much or too sensitive or too blah, blah, blah, you.
Speaker A:It's literally a God given beautiful biology that helps your family bond.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:It's your body's way of guarding the baby and protecting both of you.
Speaker A:But it should also include your husband.
Speaker A:It should be the three of you, the four, however many kids you have and your husband.
Speaker A:So when you seem short tempered or withdrawn or on edge, remember to communicate that one.
Speaker A:But two husbands, please remember her body is literally hardwired much more than yours to defend and nurture and respond in every single way.
Speaker A:For every cry, for every sound, for every change that the baby's going through.
Speaker A:So she's not being difficult.
Speaker A:Oh, or train.
Speaker B:Yeah, train went by.
Speaker A:She's not being difficult, she's being a mom which is powered by a God given instinct that he has given her hormones and obviously pure love.
Speaker A:But this is where my issue comes in with it.
Speaker A:Just because you have imbalanced hormones that are very different than usual does not give you a license to sin ever.
Speaker B:Really?
Speaker A:Yeah, really.
Speaker B:So just because it's natural and just because it's something that's going to happen and it's an automatic defense, it's not okay?
Speaker A:Well, I mean, yeah, to an extent it's okay like to give grace, but when you're snappy and oh, it's just prolactin.
Speaker A:No, it's not.
Speaker A:You also have, you know, the fruits of the holy spirit and the last one being self control.
Speaker A:Yeah, we're supposed to take hold of our flesh.
Speaker A:Which means if a husband's super checked out, that's him not taking control.
Speaker A:Are using self control in any way.
Speaker A:Yeah, the same way that she's not allowed to check out and treat him like trash just because she doesn't feel like dealing with him and explaining something for maybe the 30th time.
Speaker A:And yeah, it's annoying, but it's her job to do so.
Speaker A:And I have examples of why in the Bible.
Speaker A:But I think I've been talking a lot.
Speaker A:I think you, Jeremiah, as the leader and as the husband, should talk about the husband's first and then I'll get into the ladies.
Speaker B:So for the husbands, I think it's a really good point to put out there is like, we got off work, we're tired, and we're called to serve.
Speaker B:And our just because we're done with our day does not mean we're done with our life.
Speaker B:We're not going to bed, we're not going home and going to sleep, and we're not going.
Speaker B:It's not.
Speaker B:It's not like going to work where you get to clock out.
Speaker B:This is constant and I think the greatest example for constant and some somebody that is always on, there's not an off button.
Speaker B:And I think our best example is always to lean on who Jesus is.
Speaker B:And so my first Bible verse is Ephesians 5:25.
Speaker B:And it goes, husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loves also loved the church and gave himself for it the following one.
Speaker B:The following verse is that he might sacrifice and cleanse it with the washing of water by the Word.
Speaker B:In that same way, men, we will go through all the same trials Jesus goes through when the church is not doing as he commands and the church is choosing to have their own idols or sin in their life.
Speaker B:Our wives will do that to us, our children will do that to us, our work, our church.
Speaker B:And we always have to.
Speaker B:And I'm going to jump to the next one because the next Bible verse answers that.
Speaker B:Yep, here it is.
Speaker B: Corinthians: Speaker B:Be on your guard, stand firm in your faith, be courageous and be strong.
Speaker B:So this is ideally saying that we have to be steadfast in our faith with the Lord and not falter and give into our temptation for wanting to relax, be lazy, want our personal time when other people need us at that time.
Speaker B:The church has needs.
Speaker B:Our household has needs.
Speaker B:We have to fulfill those needs before we can fulfill ourselves.
Speaker A:Yeah, your household is a church as well.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:And I think a lot of people don't think of that.
Speaker A:They think of like, I went to church on Sunday and then I got to go home and check out.
Speaker A:And it's not that people on the extreme.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Some people are like, I go and I repent on Sunday, and then I go back into a sinful life.
Speaker A:It's not always that extreme.
Speaker A:Sometimes it's, I went to church on Sunday, I did my dues, and then I'm going back to do whatever, you know, Like, I go home and I, you know, I had my Bible time.
Speaker A:But then.
Speaker A:Did you get your taxes done that you were supposed to do?
Speaker A:Did you do your dishes?
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Does your house smell?
Speaker B:And so did you walk your dogs?
Speaker B:I want to charge the men with this as their call to action.
Speaker B:James 1:19.
Speaker B:So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath.
Speaker B:And this is the mentality we need to have constantly when we are communicating with the church, our family, our wives, our kids, even yourself.
Speaker B:Don't be quick to judge yourself.
Speaker B:Give yourself grace.
Speaker B:Give everyone grace.
Speaker B:Start with joy and love and then listen to what's going on.
Speaker B:That way there, you can actually fix things and be there to support.
Speaker A:Yeah, I love that.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:And James, you said James 4:17, right?
Speaker A:Which one did you just do?
Speaker B:I did first 19 for 119.
Speaker A:First 19?
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:I've never.
Speaker B:First and one is the same, technically.
Speaker A:Okay, wait, I have James 4:17.
Speaker A:The weight of inaction.
Speaker A:Knowing what's right but not doing it.
Speaker A:I love James.
Speaker A:James is my favorite book in the Bible.
Speaker A:If anyone then knows the good that ought to.
Speaker A:That they ought to do and doesn't do it, it is a sin for them.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:This is the clearest verse to, like, clearest one.
Speaker A:Of the sin of omission.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And I want to add to that Adam's silence in the garden of when Eve was like, hey, guess what?
Speaker B:Got an aphrodisiac for you.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Genesis 3:6, and Genesis.
Speaker A:And, like, the book's ninth.
Speaker A:I'm sorry, 3:6, and then verses nine through 12.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:When the serpent tempted Eve and Adam was with her, but then he said nothing.
Speaker A:Oh, sorry.
Speaker A:My dog got scared.
Speaker A:Dog Atlas just got scared.
Speaker A:He got scared of the sin of omission.
Speaker A:His failure wasn't eating the fruit.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Because, like, she offered it to him first and then he ate it.
Speaker A:First it was the fact that he didn't say anything.
Speaker A:His silence.
Speaker A:Well, yeah, that was second.
Speaker A:But the first sin was the sin of omission.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:It was being silent and passive.
Speaker A:When leadership was needed most, he stepped back.
Speaker A:And this is the biblical root of sin of a mission.
Speaker A:And that's why, like, when God came and then said, where are You.
Speaker A:Even though he knew where they were in the garden.
Speaker A:And then Adam was like, well, the woman brought the fruit to me.
Speaker A:God was like, no, no, bro.
Speaker A:So I just thought that was really interesting, you know, like, thinking about, like, bringing it back to Genesis.
Speaker A:And then also, too, to add to what you were saying, God's expectation of spiritual responsibility.
Speaker A:There's a great verse in Ezekiel, Ezekiel 33.
Speaker A:6.
Speaker A:But if the watchman sees the sword coming and does not blow the trumpet and warn the people, their blood will be on the watchman's head.
Speaker A:The husband, the head of the household is the watchman.
Speaker A:And if he doesn't warn and protect and love his family, the blood is on his head.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:So men are called to be the watchmen.
Speaker A:They're called to be spiritually alert and protective and active.
Speaker A:And when they fail to act on that, people suffer.
Speaker A:And I think that's why women, especially when they're in this, you know, newborn stage, child stage, we are extra sensitive to that.
Speaker A:When we don't feel like we're being attended to or checked in or loved on, it feels like, oh, my gosh, everything's on my shoulders.
Speaker A:My watchman wasn't there for me.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:It's an interesting concept that the watchman is responsible.
Speaker B:Like, I agree it is on.
Speaker B:The blood is on his hands.
Speaker B:But the thing is, is a watchman is a team.
Speaker B:It's not one man.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:That's why you need community, of course.
Speaker A:But when we're talking about just the family.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:It starts with the watchman.
Speaker A:So if the watchman sees something in the distance, he should be the one to first acknowledge it.
Speaker A:So that's why it's frustrating when, like, the woman's like, oh, my gosh, I'm doing all this other stuff, and I'm taking your job of watchmen.
Speaker A:Like, every once in a while, it's cool, but, like, this is too much.
Speaker A:And that's when women start to usurp because they feel like, you know what?
Speaker A:You're not doing it.
Speaker A:I'll just do it.
Speaker A:And then they start to resent and do things that are unbiblical.
Speaker A: But First Corinthians: Speaker A:Act like men, be strong.
Speaker A:So this is like a direct charge to men for men to take initiative.
Speaker A:And none of these things, by the way, just because a man struggles with passive passitivity does not mean a woman gets to hound him on it.
Speaker A:And that's something that I actually do struggle with in our marriage.
Speaker A:You can Ask Jeremiah.
Speaker A:I am a very, I mean, you guys know, you can hear in our episodes.
Speaker A:I'm a very like, straightforward son of a gun.
Speaker A:I have no problem calling things out as it is.
Speaker A:And poor sweet Jeremiah.
Speaker B:What?
Speaker A:Had to deal with my tongue quite often.
Speaker A:And yeah, but so I just want to talk about the consequences of passativity and then also God's call to wives and how not to your usurp.
Speaker A: Okay, so in Proverbs: Speaker A:But one of it is, I passed by the field of a sluggard.
Speaker A:It was all overgrown with thorns.
Speaker A:So that's kind of like a vivid picture of what When a man neglects leadership, things start to decay within the home, within marriages, and of course, most importantly, spiritual health.
Speaker A:And it sucks to say this, but when a woman starts to sin like that in the usurpedness, it actually starts with the sin of a, sans the sin of a husband's omission.
Speaker A:So that's why I'm talking about this a little bit more.
Speaker A:Like when a husband starts to do the sin of omission, it, it's, that's when a woman starts to become overbearing and like, tries to be the leader.
Speaker A:It starts with the husband first.
Speaker B:Not always.
Speaker B:I, I, I have to say, not always.
Speaker B:Just because there are overbearing women.
Speaker A:Yeah, but how does that stop?
Speaker B:I mean, there's overbearing women since they were kids.
Speaker B:It's something that has been, they, they grew up with.
Speaker B:Yeah, their mom was like that.
Speaker A:Wait, wait, you're not listening to my question.
Speaker A:How does that stop?
Speaker B:How does that stop?
Speaker A:Yeah, if you decide to marry a woman like that, how does that stop?
Speaker B:The way it would stop is, you know, you, you work in it at home, your first church, and then if that didn't, if that doesn't work out, you go to your pastor and your community for, for assistance and you go to your second church to help hold her accountable and.
Speaker B:Yeah, have them, I guess, like, help her with their heart.
Speaker A:Yeah, and support him as the leader and give him tools on how to lead and love on her, even through her sin.
Speaker A:The same way that if, you know, like, she really had like a hurtful, abusive, non, you know, loving husband, which, by the way, omission is a type of abuse as well, you know, just like willful neglect.
Speaker A:Yeah, right.
Speaker A:That's a type of abuse.
Speaker A:The same way that, you know, literally physical abuse or being demeaning and angry.
Speaker A:You know, those are two different types.
Speaker A:But they are still abuse, right?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Neglect is abuse.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:And she should go.
Speaker A:If it's not working in the first church, if she.
Speaker A:If he's not communicating well with her, if she's trying at home and it's not, then she should go to the second church and have them be held accountable.
Speaker A:And, yes, you.
Speaker A:You cannot force someone to go to those meetings at the second church, even if you are the husband.
Speaker A:She can still be like, nope, I'm not going.
Speaker A:You can't drag her into the car.
Speaker B:I've heard a lot of families that only the husband goes to church or only the wife goes to church with the kids and stuff like that.
Speaker B:And it's.
Speaker A:Sad.
Speaker B:It is sad and hard.
Speaker B:Not easy.
Speaker A:But guess what?
Speaker A:If just the husband goes to church, it's 80% more likely that the wife and the children will also come to the Lord.
Speaker A:If the wife goes, it's only 5% likely that the husband will be saved.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:So that's the point that I'm trying to make here is headship.
Speaker A:Quite often when that's neglected, it very much.
Speaker A:Like, that's what kind of stems the whole thing of, like, a woman going into that.
Speaker A:And guess what?
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:It can start when she's a child because she could learn that from her mom and dad.
Speaker A:But the husband can help break that.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:If you're willingly marrying a woman who was like that, you know that you have to help her break that through your marriage.
Speaker A:And that's hard.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:We take on each other's sin.
Speaker B:We become one flesh.
Speaker A:The same way that if you are willingly marrying a husband who really struggles with a mission, you have to be patient and kind and loving through that and understand, like, wait, I chose this.
Speaker A:I chose him in his, like, worst weakest points, the same way he chose me and my worst weakest points and also my best and his best.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:Crazy, though, that, like, Christians will get married after, like, two months, and they never even get to experience that until they're married.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:And you don't even know what you're going into.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:That's wild to me.
Speaker A:Jeremiah and I dated for two years, and we seriously questioned whether or not we should get married quite a few times.
Speaker A:But anyway, so when God still calls the wife to strength and not usurpation, there's a big difference between the Two.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:Proverbs 31, 26 through verses 26 to 27.
Speaker A:I know.
Speaker A:It's like that.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Proverbs 31 woman.
Speaker B:But yeah, it's just the voice.
Speaker A:Well, because I get here.
Speaker A:I'm sorry.
Speaker A:Sorry was shaking his head at me because I was making fun of Proverbs 31.
Speaker A:Look at how much it's raining outside.
Speaker A:Are you okay?
Speaker B:Yeah, my throat just got so scratched.
Speaker A:Oh, my goodness.
Speaker A:My love.
Speaker A:Do you need water?
Speaker A:If you need water, go stick your mouth outside.
Speaker A:Look at how hard it's raining.
Speaker A:If it's not the baby screaming, it's Jeremiah dying of thirst.
Speaker B:It's raining cats and dogs.
Speaker B:My voice is going with it.
Speaker A:Okay, we'll be quick.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:Proverbs 31, 26, 27.
Speaker A:She speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction.
Speaker A:I saw Jeremiah about to cough, so I stopped.
Speaker A:Everyone be praying that Jeremiah lives and doesn't get sick.
Speaker A:Are you sick?
Speaker B:I don't think so.
Speaker B:It feels like there's something stuck in my throat.
Speaker A:Did you eat something?
Speaker B:Nothing.
Speaker A:Okay, do a big Feel better?
Speaker B:No.
Speaker A:Okay, well, I'll be fast.
Speaker A:She speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
Speaker A:She watches over the affairs of her household.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Your husband doesn't just do that on his own.
Speaker A:She also helps.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:And does not eat in the bread of idleness.
Speaker A:So she is also not passive.
Speaker A:She acts with grace and discernment.
Speaker A:But in her lane.
Speaker A:Okay, I struggle with this.
Speaker A:Was some of.
Speaker A:I got to memorize this verse.
Speaker A:A godly wife can model diligence and prayer that stirs leadership in her husband without taking over.
Speaker A:I am not good with this.
Speaker A:I demand leadership, which is weird to like be demanding.
Speaker B:What happened to Israel when they demanded a leader and chose their leader?
Speaker A:Oh, man.
Speaker A:For people who don't know, do you.
Speaker B:Want to say it fell?
Speaker A:Gosh darn it.
Speaker A:Galatians 6, 9.
Speaker A:Let us not grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
Speaker A:Yay.
Speaker A:So that's encouraging for women and men.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:But for women specifically waiting on God to awaken leadership in their husbands.
Speaker A:But also.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:For men who are waiting for their women to be more soft hearted.
Speaker B:So I love what you're saying.
Speaker B:Oh my gosh.
Speaker A:It is literally downpouring.
Speaker B:Literally change colors outside.
Speaker B:Just not because of the rain.
Speaker A:Baby, you need to talk in the mic.
Speaker B:Oh, sorry.
Speaker B:But I love what you're saying.
Speaker B:Here's the thing.
Speaker B:None of that happens on your own.
Speaker A:No.
Speaker B:None of that happens being with your wife.
Speaker B:None of that happens going to church.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:All of that happens when you're in the Word with Jesus.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Prayerfully.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Prayer.
Speaker A:We Talk about this every episode.
Speaker B:Who are you doing this for?
Speaker A:Pray, get in the word and then ask for help for community, right?
Speaker A:Yeah, but you got to be doing the work with the Lord first and foremost.
Speaker A:Holy moly.
Speaker A:Wait, wait, listen.
Speaker A:You can hear it in the mic.
Speaker B:I love those.
Speaker A:Listen, listen.
Speaker B:Wild.
Speaker B:I'm a big fan of lo fi, and if lo fi has rain in it, like, it is my jam, we're.
Speaker A:Giving you guys that lo fi sound.
Speaker A:I really hope and pray it doesn't just sound like annoying static.
Speaker A:Oh.
Speaker A:Oh.
Speaker B:It is calming down.
Speaker B:It is overflowing our rain gutters right now.
Speaker A:Okay, so with that being said, we're gonna go.
Speaker A:I hope you guys enjoyed this podcast episode and understand that the sin of omission was the first sin.
Speaker B:Holy cow.
Speaker B:Yeah, we're gonna have to get up and lock up our stuff right now.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:Why does this happen to us every episode?
Speaker A:Something happens.
Speaker A:Anyway, we love you guys and as always.
Speaker B:Oh.
Speaker B:What I wanted to say real quick.
Speaker B:Sorry.
Speaker A:Oh, be fast.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:If you guys are struggling, go get help.
Speaker B:Don't just sit there and listen to this podcast and just like, okay, I'll think about it.
Speaker A:Second church.
Speaker B:Just go.
Speaker B:Yeah, take action.
Speaker B:The sooner you take action, the closer you'll get to being in harmony with your wife, your children.
Speaker A:Don't sit in shame.
Speaker A:Yeah, don't let shame.
Speaker B:We love you guys and as always, keep casting seeds.
Speaker A:We hope you enjoyed learning how to cultivate God's creation from a biblical perspective.
Speaker A:Holistic health is to prioritize whole person wellness through Christ like and comment on what topics we're casting seeds or casting pearls.
Speaker B:If you found this information provided useful, subscribe to our podcast for future updates.
Speaker B:Leave a review to help us improve and share this episode, we would like to remind you before we leave that purpose perfect health cannot be attained in this world.
Speaker A:Only spiritual salvation through sanctification and repentance to God and turning away from sin will give you a perfect body in the kingdom come.
Speaker A:Nourish yourself in the word, in prayer, and in biblical fellowship daily.
Speaker B:Thank you for joining us today and a special thank you to our listeners for making this podcast possible.
Speaker A:Always praying.
Speaker B:Keep casting seeds.
